Fap fap fap

Phil's home for a few weeks. It's nice to see him forreal. So we had a party over the weekend. 60 day rave in two days. Pretty crazy stuff. Phil and Kristi got drunk off their asses. You can bet that was funny. Kristi was tripping over shit and rolling in the alcohol she knocked over. And I'm pretty sure Jessica is my new best friend. Rick and krissi came over the second night. The house ways a complete disaster either. It only took about an hour to clean:)) anyways I guess what I'm saying is I had fun and it was nice hanging out with everyone.

Change

Yesterday I got my lip pierced. It didn't hurt and it looks pretty neat. Yes that means I like it. The swelling has went down already. Lucky me:) but the inside of my lip is horrible bruised. Before it happened I asked how much you normally bleed and his reply was usually people don't at all. Right after it was done my mouth filled with blood. Great right? But that may have something to do with the zoloft I'm taking. Anyways I fell I'm love with it and plan to get the other side done soon. Hopefully I won't bleed as much.

I'm getting a tattoo next month. Super excited about that too.

I'm ready to start living:)

Rest.

Random things, yes.

One. I love my son more than anything.
Two. My favorite movie is spirited away.
Three. I can cook eggs in th mircowave.
Four. I am slutkitten.
Five. I miss my best friend, Phil.
Six. Tons of people have lived with me.
Seven. My Dvr is recording something and I'm not sure what.
Eight. Eric knows how to make me laugh and I love him.
Nine. I hate using numbers, but sometimes I'm too lazy to spell them out.
Ten. I like to watch people and find out their tendences. That's my hobby.
Eleven. I still throw fits like a child when I don't get my way. Sometimes.
Twelve. That is getting better.
Thirteen. I like sprite.
Fourteen. Ashton just woke up and went right back to sleep. Cute.
Fifteen. I don't wear underwear. Much.
Sixteen. I'm not really good at anything. Pretty depressing right?
Seventeen. I'm currently looking for a job.
Eighteen. Eric and matt are setting stuff on fire.
Nineteen. I'm always cold.
Twenty. I can be really outgoing.
Twenty and one. Baby kitten is in my lap.
Twenty and two. I've calmed down so much.
Twenty and three. I love taking showers.
Twenty and four. My car was given to me.
Twenty and five. Video games are the shit.
Twenty and six. Winter is pretty and the sky looks closer at night.
Twenty and seven. I'm dying my hair soon.
Twenty and eight. I just yawned.
Twenty and nine. I'm thinking this was a waste of time.

Do you ever try to picture yourself as someone else. Just to see what their life is like.or wonder what everyone opinion about you really is. Who's your true friends and who's using you. What about what you'll eat tomorrow. Or how you're going to get the money for stuff you need. How many childeren you'll have. Will you ever find "the one". How much you'll sleep tonight. If you're making a mistake. What about regret. Will you be successful. It you're watsing your time. How certain things are made. What's really in the stuff you eat. Are you fat or getting fat. What would have happened if... Yeah I thought so.

Thursday, I went to Devin's school to see him read some of the things he had written. It was wonderful. Afterwards I hot to meet all of his friends. And I must say everyone has their own little thing going on. Seeing as it's a fine arts school I guess that's expected. It was neat:))

That night Eric, Kristi, Justin, Nick, and I went bowling. I came in third because I suck. But I'm not as bad as Kristi and jrowe:p I had to take my moms suv because cramming five people in my car is impossible with all the baby stuff in there. Not that I mind. Later some crazy stuff went down. Nothing I'm going to ever mention that's forsure.

I woke up to Ashton screaming because Eric accidently dropped the bottle and it hit him in the head. I wasn't very happy. When I called the doctor they said that it was okay as long as the bump went outwards. And it did. A few hours later it went down. I was seriously scared. But he's okay and that's what matters.

Have you ever had one of those days where anything you say gets turned into a song? I've been having a lot of those lately. And I must say it's the best.

Last night Eric and I watched two movies. We don't get to spend a ton of time doing things like that and I really enjoyed it. Ashton slept mostly. He likes sleeping.

Ashton's eating more and with greater times inbetween each feeding. He only wakes up once or twice a night. I just looked over at him and he has hiccups. And he really really gets annoyed by them. He has almost grown out of all of his clothes. Time to go by new ones:)

I'm not getting as pissed off as I usually do. I guess the medicine I'm using works as far as depression and anxiety go. I do fell a bit jittery and my teeth hurt from always hitting down really hard. Silly side effect. They should go away soon. But I'm glad that I feel good about myself again. That's something that I haven't felt in a while.

My house is a mess and eric's mom is coming over tomorrow so I guess it's full on cleaning today. Eric's going to enjoy this.

How things go

I've been extremely bitchy lately and to all of the wrong people. I want to apologize and things get back to normal. Butttt I'm super scared they wont forgive me. So do I take that chance? Yes, as soon as I get the courage to do so. I'm seriously hoping thing get better.

It's pretty much freezing, just saying.

Ashton is moving so much. He's like a little ninja or something. Yeah that's right he'll kick your butt:p but forreal it's cute when he's asleep and makes little whiney noises. He's playing with a few toys every now and then. Oh, and he doesn't like tummy time very much.

Okay so a lot of things have been going on. Much of it I'd rather not say because it would make me and some other people look pretty bad. I am going to say that it all got fixed and the last two days have been pretty good. Stay this way please???

My dad only has a few radiation treatments left. He really doesn't like to talk about it, but did manage to tell me that his cancer isn't as bad as it used to be. Good. And I'm glad he told me at least one thing.

Oh how i've missed our adventures.

This weekend was pretty epic. Friday night Hailey stayed over and we played the kinect for hours. Saturday night I hung out with kristi and Justin. We went around everwhere. Kristi and I were dressed alike looking slighty like sluts. We did yoga in old navy and drew on the floor with chalk. Then we ate and looked for potential to stalk. We found some dumb kids thaT we had been making fun of for a while but they wouldn't leave. So we went to walmart and found a car with three people. Made it really obvious we were following them. Then they followed us to a gas station where they got out and yelled for a minute. That was fun.

I'm currently looking for a job. My demands are kinda high seeing as I have to find a babysitter and whatnot. I want something three days a week for about 6 hours a day. Right now I'm trying to get on at the place Kristi works at looking after children when school let's out for three hours a day. That would be perfect. Wish me luck.

Ashton's doing a little more. He makes tons of noises and stays up for longer periods of time. He's also eating a good bit more. Luckly wic pays for most of the formula. He's in size one diapers. They're still pretty small. He's out of newborn clothes except for pants. Hopefully I'll have some pics up soon.

I wish we had money to pay bills. Eric's work slowed down to a stop and he hasn't looked for a new one very much. I haven't either though. It's stressful knowing you can't pay for anything you have or need. Not even gas. On the upside of the money issues Eric doesn't owe any of his medical bills from the wreck. His finacial aid was approved, yay. One less t hing to stay awake thinking about.

I ordered some glasses. Hoping I don't look like crap wearing them. I only had a choice of a few pair because my face is smaller than most of the frames they had. I also got contacts, as always.

My new goal is to get a new friend. Here I go:))

I found out christmas eve that my dads cancer has spread to his brain. No one decided to tell me when they found out. Maybe they forgot? Don't think so.

Eric and I are having a hard time spending time together. It's gotten better over the past few days. I hope things stay that way. We've always had our ups and downs. Relationships are always like that though right?

I realized that I surround myself with people by their flaws. I'm not exactly sure how to explain this but I will try my hardest. I fall in love with people's flaws. I always look for the worst things about a person. And after hanging out for a while I get very annoyed. And I don't want to be around them anymore. This is something I'd like to change about myself but I don't see it happening ever.