Just need to vent

There's so much I want to say.
And no way to express it.

My dad.

He's not doing so great.

I'm hoping it's just his medicine. 

Hoping.

Someone always has to stay with him.

One second he's here.

and another he's lost in our living room.

He still plays with Addy and Ashton.

When he feels good.

Some certain person thinks my sister and I don't care.

It wouldn't do any good crying in front of him.

now would it?

So why don't you grow the fuck up.

Stop being selfish.

and spend some time with him while you can.

Holy fuck.

I love my dad.

He's always been there for me.

and I'll always be there for him.

I'll deal with it when he isn't around.

And if he decides to cry in front of me

I'll cry with him.

Eric.

One minute you want nothing to do with me.
When I accept that.

You decide to come back around.

You want me to lie for you.

I feel like its because you're ashamed.

of me.

And all the cheating.

Ohh the cheating.

I wish you knew how it felt.

To feel completely 

worthless.

used.

ugly.

I only feel like this.

because I care so much.

I do everything I can.

just for you.

but that never mattered.

I only matter when it's convenient.

One last chance to prove yourself.

or

you're out of my life for good.